Building Up Trust with Positive Connections
Ever heard of “connection before correction”? It's more than just a catchy phrase – it's backed by science. Our brains have a tough time processing corrections without a solid base of connection. To nurture trust and community, we need a ratio of five positive interactions to each negative one.* Sound like a tall order?
Just like digging a well before the dry season hits, we need to invest in building reservoirs of positive interactions with families. And hopefully no dry season occurs–or no need for those “big conversations” that might involve correction or redirection–but we still want to have deep and flourishing wells.
1. Flip the script from "uh-oh" to "ah-ha.": The crucial part is to establish from the start that your communication is for something positive – in fact, fantastic. Too often the gut reaction when a family sees a message from a school, they think that something is wrong. By sharing a positive note about their student, we foster a culture of celebration and collaboration with families.
2. Be Specific: When acknowledging a student's behavior or action, specificity is key. Whether it's recognizing their effort, growth, or a particular choice, providing detailed and clear praise reinforces the behavior we aim to encourage. Let’s move beyond “good job” and into really seeing and valuing the individual students before us.
3. Use a Template: Having a template in general will help you stay organized and on target. Always a win. We’ll dive more deeply into a template in the next post.
4. Spread the Word: Keep the positivity flowing beyond the classroom walls or the school ground. Encourage the adults at home to communicate this recognition to the student. After all, a little praise goes a long way in reinforcing the bond between home and school.
5. Don't Let the Connection Drop: Implement a protocol for situations where direct communication with a caregiver is not feasible. Whether it's leaving a voicemail or sending an email, ensure that the message of positivity reaches both the family and the student.
Ready to start digging your well of positive interactions? Dive in and try one of these strategies in your next conversation. And, don't be shy—reach out and give us a virtual high-five. Your feedback and stories brighten our day.
*(Source: Gottman, J. M., & Gottman, J. S. (2008)
Author
Erin Pollack, MFA
SENIOR CONSULTANT | PROJECTS & OPERATIONS COORDINATOR
Contact us to bring family engagement, including family literacy, workshops to your staff and community.-